I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
