I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
nutella sex= disaster
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
