I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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