it was like eating out sand paper
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
