god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
