i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
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