I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Randomize
