I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
