You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
