i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Even my vagina gasped.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
