I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
