i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
