why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
