i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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