it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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