I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
