sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
