i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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