so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
