I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
is wine microwaveable?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
