R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
