The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
