All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
