I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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