Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
