i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
