i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
