oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
