Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
