i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
