Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
