it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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