Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
