i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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