he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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