Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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