i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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