Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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