chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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