I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Randomize
