Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
