She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
