I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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