My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Boobs are out for the taking
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
