me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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