i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
