That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I can't turn off my feet"
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
