well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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