Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Someone came in the potted fern
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
