Kareoke will never be a sober sport
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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