So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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